[{"id":1592,"date":"2021-01-07T18:00:59","date_gmt":"2021-01-07T23:00:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/?p=1592"},"modified":"2021-01-07T18:00:59","modified_gmt":"2021-01-07T23:00:59","slug":"sad-news","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/sad-news\/","title":{"rendered":"Sad News"},"content":{"rendered":"

Like many of you, our family had high hopes for a new year. After a year of tough decisions and big change we were looking forward to settling in and finding a new rhythm.\u00a0 Unfortunately 2021 is not starting out as we had hoped.<\/p>\n

A few days after Christmas, Jarvis (our service dog) bit someone. I am not going to go into a lot of detail except to say the incident was unprovoked and happened to someone outside of our immediate family that Jarvis had met multiple times. The bite was serious and could have been worse considering the person was wearing gloves.<\/p>\n

Hard Decision<\/h4>\n

Obviously this incident caught us completely off guard and we were unsure how to proceed. Following the bite, Jarvis continued to show behaviors that were concerning to us. We can only speculate as to why this happened but it was clear that Jarvis was not adjusting well to our family. Our trust and confidence in Jarvis was shaken and we knew it would not be wise to try and risk keeping him. After talking it over with Jarvis’ trainer we decided the best thing to do for Jarvis was to return him to his trainer. It just so happened that his trainer was already planning to be in a city about an hour from where we live so we arranged to meet so she could take Jarvis home with her.<\/p>\n

WE. ARE. DEVASTATED.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Brady’s LEGO depiction of the boys with Jarvis.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The obvious benefit to owning a diabetic alert dog is the extra safeguard against high and low blood sugar events. The hardest adjustment for us though will not be managing their physical health without Jarvis, but navigating their mental health. The added benefit of a diabetic alert dog is the mental\/emotional support they can often bring. Adolescents with type 1 diabetes can have up to\u00a0five times the rate of depression and anxiety<\/a> than adolescents who do not have type 1 diabetes. We have experienced this statistic in our family and we were thrilled to see our kids finding comfort and support in Jarvis’ presence. Telling our kids that we would be returning Jarvis was absolutely heartbreaking and still brings tears as I type these words.<\/p>\n

No Blame<\/h4>\n

I want to be absolutely clear about the fact that we do not blame Jarvis’ trainer in any way. I still believe she is one of the best trainers out there and I would recommend her in a heartbeat. She has graciously offered to train another dog for us no charge. We need time however to grieve and process this loss before making the decision whether to try again.<\/p>\n

Be Kind<\/h4>\n

My husband and I have obviously been talking a lot about this with each other. We are both struggling with feelings of failure and guilt. We know there is no one to blame but we cannot help but feel like we have let down everyone that gave so generously and entrusted us with their gifts. Our hearts are extremely vulnerable right now. If you truly feel the need to comment on this post we would kindly ask you to please refrain from questions, advice, and\/or sharing similar experiences. We are unable to handle even one well intentioned yet possibly unmindful or insensitive remark. The best thing you could do for our family is pray for us. Our kids with diabetes are especially hurting and will need time to process their feelings and heal from the loss. Sometimes a broken heart is harder to heal than a broken pancreas. Thank you in advance for your love, support and understanding.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Like many of you, our family had high hopes for a new year. After a year of tough decisions and big change we were looking forward to settling in and finding a new rhythm.\u00a0 Unfortunately 2021 is not starting out as we had hoped. A…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1599,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1,66],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1592"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1592"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1592\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1602,"href":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1592\/revisions\/1602"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1599"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1592"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1592"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1592"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}},{"id":1566,"date":"2020-12-01T19:22:32","date_gmt":"2020-12-02T00:22:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/?p=1566"},"modified":"2020-12-01T19:22:32","modified_gmt":"2020-12-02T00:22:32","slug":"welcome-home-jarvis","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/welcome-home-jarvis\/","title":{"rendered":"Welcome Home Jarvis!"},"content":{"rendered":"

I started this blog over a year ago as a means to raise money for a diabetic alert service dog for our three kids with type 1 diabetes. I am happy to say that we officially have “a dog on the side”! Jarvis came home one week ago and we are still a little bit incredulous about the fact that he is finally home.<\/p>\n

First Flight<\/h4>\n
\"\"
Jarvis on his first flight.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Last week Jarvis and his trainer (Lily Grace) flew from Idaho to Ohio to meet us. Flights at the airport closest to our home were limited due to Covid so we arranged to meet at a hotel near another airport a little more than an hour from our home. The three kids and I drove to the hotel Friday night with plans to meet Jarvis in the morning. Needless to say the kids had a hard time falling asleep due to the anticipation of meeting Jarvis in the morning.<\/p>\n

First Meeting<\/h4>\n

The next morning after a quick breakfast and trip to Starbucks (because nothing good happens before I’ve had coffee), I texted Lily and said we were ready. Lily asked us to wait in the hotel lobby and ignore Jarvis like we would any other service dog in public when she entered. The wait in the lobby felt like an eternity! Every time the elevator doors dinged we would all impatiently wait to see if Jarvis and Lily would appear around the corner. As we waited anxiously I glanced at the blood sugar readings on my phone app; worried about how the spike in blood sugar from the carb heavy hotel breakfast would affect Jarvis. Would Jarvis be overwhelmed by all three blood sugars out of range at once? Would Jarvis be able to pick up their scents through the masks they were wearing? Would Lily be upset that we had not tried harder to find a low carb breakfast before meeting Jarvis?<\/p>\n

\"\"
Nice to meet you!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Finally, Lily entered with Jarvis heeling on her left side like he was trained to do. The kids and I greeted Lily and then Jarvis immediately put his front paws on Joci’s chest in an effort to smell her breath. (If you want to read more about how Jarvis smells changes in blood sugar click here<\/a>.) He then went back and forth between all the kids, sniffing and putting his paws up on them excitedly. He would then turn back and paw Lily because he knew the smell of the kids high blood sugar meant treats were coming. After giving Jarvis treats it was time to learn all of the words for commands that Jarvis knows. We then loaded up the minivan and headed to the mall for a day of training.<\/p>\n

Time To Work<\/h4>\n
\"\"
Walking together<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Each of the kids took turns walking Jarvis and giving commands. Lily would stop periodically and have one of the kids open a pre-collected low or high blood sugar sample (saliva soaked cotton ball) to train Jarvis to alert in public. It was amazing to watch him get so excited about each of their scents.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Department Store Alert<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

When it was time for lunch we headed to a nearby restaurant. We were seated in a large corner booth where Lily demonstrated the best way to place Jarvis under the table, out of the way, as much as possible. We placed our orders with the waitress and then as luck would have it all three kids began to have low blood sugar. I can count on one hand the number of times all three of them have been low at the same time! It must have been caused by all the walking we did with Jarvis that morning. Jarvis was clearly antsy under the table as he began smelling the changes in blood sugar. Lily loosened her hold on Jarvis’ leash and he began climbing up on the booth to get a closer sniff. I was amazed that even with all the smells of food and the stress of being with new people he was still able to pick up the scents he had been trained to alert.<\/p>\n

After a long day of practicing commands and alerts it was time to go back to our hotel room with Jarvis and Lily and practice some night alerts. It was not time for bed yet but each of the kids got into a hotel bed as if they were sleeping. Then one of them would open the pre-collected low blood sugar sample and we would wait until Jarvis picked up the scent, jumped up on the bed and pawed. Then he would get a treat from the correct kid.<\/p>\n

Hotel Fun<\/h4>\n
\"\"
Hotel Hugs<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Meeting their new dog was the most exciting part of the day for my boys but staying in a hotel with a pool was a close second. Due to Covid, the hotel required guests to sign up for a time slot to limit the number of people in the pool. The time slots were all full when we checked in to the hotel the night before so they were unable to swim. I had signed up for a slot the following evening just in case we had time before bed to swim. After completing practice night alerts with Jarvis the boys had 30 minutes to take a quick swim. Jarvis had never seen a pool before (only a lake) but like most black labs he showed no fear of the water and tried desperately to join “his boys” in the pool.<\/p>\n

Time For Bed<\/h4>\n

Finally it was time for Lily to leave Jarvis with us for the night. We all got ready for bed and put a folded sheet on the floor (as Lily instructed) for Jarvis. If you have ever brought a newborn baby home from the hospital and then tried to sleep the first night you will know exactly what our night was like. As expected, Jarvis was anxious about being away from his trainer and sleeping in a strange place with strange people. On top of that, both boys had a delayed high blood sugar response from all the exertion\/adrenaline in the pool. (Perfectly normal for them.) Poor Jarvis just could not settle down for more than 30 minutes at a time.<\/p>\n

Final Exam<\/h4>\n
\"\"
Starbucks<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\"\"
Window Shopping<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The next morning we all took another trip to Starbucks because like I mentioned before nothing good happens before coffee; especially when you have only had three hours of sleep. Then it was time to test the kids and Jarvis on the skills they learned the day before. After passing with flying colors and saying a big thank you and hugs to Lily we were on our way home.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/h4>\n

Settling In<\/h4>\n

\"\"All things considered, Jarvis has done an incredible job of acclimating to our busy home with 9 people. Lily said it would be perfectly normal for Jarvis to not pick up on every low\/high blood sugar in the beginning due to the stress of moving to a new home. We are working hard at giving him lots of practice alerts with samples at home and of course a lot of treats to go with them. He is getting better and better at alerting every day. Adding Jarvis to our household has not come without a lot of work but he is so worth it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I started this blog over a year ago as a means to raise money for a diabetic alert service dog for our three kids with type 1 diabetes. I am happy to say that we officially have “a dog on the side”! Jarvis came home…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1583,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1566"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1566"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1566\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1590,"href":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1566\/revisions\/1590"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1583"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1566"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1566"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1566"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}},{"id":1534,"date":"2020-06-04T21:05:49","date_gmt":"2020-06-05T01:05:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/?p=1534"},"modified":"2020-06-04T21:05:49","modified_gmt":"2020-06-05T01:05:49","slug":"before-i-became-a-mother-of-black-children","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/extrakidswithadogontheside.com\/before-i-became-a-mother-of-black-children\/","title":{"rendered":"Before I Became A Mother Of Black Children"},"content":{"rendered":"

I am white. Three of my children are black. I am also a mother of five white children. With 12 years of parenting under my belt, motherhood was nothing new to me when we adopted. What was new to me however was society’s response to my black children vs. my white children.<\/p>\n

Adoption changed my worldview. Before my husband and I adopted I thought the world was different. I thought racism was a thing of the past or at the very least isolated. It. Is. Not.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“Racism is not getting worse.<\/h2>\n

Racism is getting filmed.”<\/h2>\n

– Will Smith<\/h2>\n

 <\/p>\n

Racism did not go away after the civil rights movement. It is still here and it is rampant. If you are reading this blog and you are black you do not need to read any further because nothing I share will surprise you or be new information to you. But know that if you are black I welcome your input and comments. I am listening and maybe for the first time in our nation’s history the world is listening.<\/p>\n

If you are white . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . keep reading.<\/p>\n

I have been hesitant to share some of these experiences publicly because I was afraid of offending someone but for the sake of my children and every other person of color, I can no longer stay silent. I will share our experiences in the hope that your eyes will be open like mine to racism or at the very least discrimination, racial profiling and white privilege in the United States.<\/p>\n

Before I became a mother of black children I never . . . . . . . .<\/h2>\n