This was church today. We had every intention of going to church. I laid out nice clothes (anything without holes in the knees) for each of the kids the night before and programmed the coffee maker to have a fresh brewed pot ready for me when I woke up. I was even toying with the idea of trying to get a walk/run in early before the heat of the day and before the kids needed breakfast but none of that happened. Well, the coffee happened but coffee is second to breathing for me so that is a no brainer.
I stayed up until 11pm last night watching the boys blood sugars on my phone app making sure they were within a good range for sleeping (120 – 150) before feeling comfortable enough to go to sleep myself. The previous two mornings I had been up at 5:30am to set up and then manage another fundraiser garage sale for our diabetic alert dog so I was looking forward to the satisfaction of a good nights sleep after a long busy weekend. At 1:30am I woke and noticed Brady’s blood sugar was creeping up to almost 300. He needed insulin to bring his blood sugar back down so I grabbed his blood sugar meter that connects wirelessly to his insulin pump and went to his room to connect and then send a calculated dose of insulin to bring his blood sugar back down. I stayed awake for 30 minutes to make sure he was trending back down before going back to bed. At 2:30am Brady came to our room and said “Mom, I don’t feel good.” I looked at my phone and his blood sugar was almost 400! I knew that meant his insulin pump was most likely malfunctioning and we needed to change his infusion site but first needed to give him an injection of insulin ASAP to try and bring his blood sugar down quickly before he felt sicker. We sat on the bathroom floor together, Brady’s head in the toilet, me laying out everything we need for an injection and pump change. I always feel like I’m coaching someone through labor when this happens because I say things like “deep breaths through your nose, out through your mouth”, “try to sip water if you can”, “would it help if I rub your back?”, “would you like a cool wash cloth on your neck?” etc. All of this is my attempt to help him stay calm and maybe avoid vomiting from the ketones that have built up in his system. Sometimes we get lucky and the insulin works fast enough to bring the blood sugar down and avoid vomiting. Last night we weren’t so lucky. . . . . . . . . . Have I mentioned how much I hate diabetes? I hate it the most when my child is vomiting. It is the most helpless feeling in the world to watch your child suffer.
Finally, we got everything under control and we were all able to go back to bed . . . . . . . . . until Cyrus woke us up with croup. Cyrus gets croup often (probably a result of RSV as a baby) but croup for Cy usually precedes an illness. He was in the hospital on Friday night for stitches in his foot from a pool accident so I am assuming he picked up some kind of germ that will manifest itself in the next day or two. Needless to say we did not get much sleep and decided it would be best to stay home from church. After sleeping in a little, Brady woke up with what I can only describe as a diabetic hangover. Headache, groggy, and very thirsty. He was relieved that we were staying home from church. I really wanted to go back to bed and feel sorry for myself but the large cup of coffee I drank was already kicking in so I decided to go pull a few weeds in the garden. My garden is one of the few places I can go to be alone. The kids don’t typically bother me there because they know they will probably be asked to pull weeds, pick rocks or water something. 😉 That means other than the chickens squawking, it’s quiet and peaceful.
The garden was looking a little sad because I had neglected it due to the busyness of the fundraiser sale and prep leading up to our third sale. As I began pulling weeds I was encouraged by how good the garden was starting to look and I found myself mentally pulling the weeds in my mind as well. The weeds in my head are not leafy and green but they do like to grow close to the plants of truth (like the weeds in my garden), hoping I won’t notice them so they can continue to blend in with the plants and flourish. The weeds in my mind say things like, “You are alone”, “God is punishing you”, “You can’t do this”, “Your faith is weak”.
As I pulled and discarded the weeds in my mind I began to see the plants of truth that are still there. Truths like, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” (Ps. 46:1) “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will uphold you with my right hand.” (Is. 41:10) “The Lord is for me: I will not fear;” (Ps 118:6) “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Cor. 12:9)
I also began to think about all the people that stopped by the sale this weekend. Some were strangers, some were family, some were friends but almost all of them were encouraging. Not only encouraging with their giving of funds but with their words. I met a few other people with type 1 that knew without any explanation what we are facing as a family. One woman even came back and gave me her card asking me to contact her if we need more dexcom sensors because she has extra.
The truth that others are with us and most importantly God is with us in this situation is there. I just lost sight of it in all the weeds.
To everyone that donated, shopped, prayed, and worked THANK YOU! Our total raised from the sale this weekend is $3,511.90! That combined with the other two sales and donations brings us more than halfway to our goal! AMAZING!
If you are reading our blog for the first time or want to learn more about a diabetic alert dog and how it will benefit our family click here. Or you can click on Puppy Project in the menu bar on the home page for more posts about our service dog journey. Thanks for taking the time to read about our crazy life.